So, have you walked in their shoes? Several years ago, about three weeks before Christmas, I was shopping in a discount department store. I had a list of items for a 10-year-old girl, an Angel from the Salvation Army Angel Tree Toy Drive. I had a list of needs and sizes, but I was lost. What did I know about 10-year-old girl fashion, let alone what socks and underclothes to buy? Me choose underclothes? No way.  I saw an employee who helped me make purchases for another child the previous week. She recognized me and said, with a big smile and a slight chuckle. “You need help don’t you.” I grinned back and said, “Yes, please.” The store employee was helping another and told me she’d be right with me. I asked the lady she was helping, “Do you think a 10-year-old girl would like these outfits?” She said, “Oh goodness, those are so cute, she’ll love them!” I thanked her and then we chatted for a few minutes.

Have You Walked in Their Shoes?

You Never Know Who You’re Talking to

As we talked, a tear ran down her cheek. I asked if she was okay, and she told me it was the first time she’d been out of the house in three weeks. She’d lost her husband of 27 years three weeks ago. She lost her soul mate, her best friend, and her partner all in one moment. I asked if she’d like a hug.

She said yes. We hugged, and then she told me about her husband and how he was a kind and gentle soul. How considerate and understanding he was and how lucky she had been to have him come into her life. I listened, nodded, and agreed. When she was done, she thanked me for listening. After the funeral, she’d had no one to talk with. Her pain was still bottled up inside. By the end, tears were running down my cheek as well.

The Lesson and the Plan  

We’ve all heard you never know what crosses people have to bear, but I wonder if we truly consider this in our interactions with others. It’s easy to quote “Walk in someone’s shoes,” but do we do it? I know I don’t do it nearly enough. I plan to change that. Here’s my plan.

Ask and Listen

When I’m talking with others ask about them first and then give them all my attention. Especially if I don’t like or agree with their actions. Before I can help, I must understand what motivated the activity.

Show Compassion

Rather than jumping to conclusions, try to learn what’s behind the action and share genuine compassion through this understanding.

See Myself in Others

Instead of focusing on our differences, look for similarities. Even the most diverse group of people has more in common than they think. A friend once told me he was appalled that a certain culture wore bright, even flamboyant clothing to a funeral. He was accustomed to dark sober clothing at a funeral.  The two cultures were alike because they had specific funeral apparel guidelines.

Stop Being Judgmental 

I should stop being judgmental and biased. How someone dresses or wears their hair doesn’t define who they are and what crosses they bear.

It was happenstance that I met a lady who needed a hug as much as she had ever needed one in her life. And it was with understanding and compassion that I listened to her story and commiserated.

It would’ve been easy to ignore the tear sliding down her cheek and walk away. I’m glad I didn’t. I know there have been times I would have ignored her, and now I know it would’ve been my loss.

The next time you’re about to walk away from a teammate, family member, or stranger, stop and take a moment to imagine yourself in their shoes. You’ll be better for it. Have you walked in their shoes?

If you liked this post you might also enjoy, Do You Believe in Karma?

Photo by Radek Skrzypczak on Unsplash